‘You will waste so much time’: Young men reveal why dating apps may be hurting their chances at real love

Dating apps promise speed, but many young men are slowing down. Finding love has never been easier on paper. Dating apps allow people to meet hundreds of strangers with just a few swipes. Yet many young men feel they are spending more time searching than actually building meaningful relationships.


One online discussion has brought this frustration into focus. A young man argued that people looking for stable, loving relationships should stop depending on "quick and easy" ways of dating. Instead, he believes relationships work best when two people already know and understand each other before romance begins.

He explained that emotional connection should come first. According to him, the best partner is often someone you already see regularly, such as a coworker, classmate, club member or friend. He believes these relationships have a stronger foundation because both people already understand each other's personalities.


According to popular belief, if there is no emotional connection or no mutual romantic interest, then asking someone out may not be the right decision. Endlessly swiping through dating apps or randomly approaching strangers can damage confidence and self-worth over time.


Not everyone agrees, but many see value in friendships first. The discussion quickly attracted different opinions. One user pointed out that trying to date within your social circle can sometimes feel risky. If things go badly, it may affect friendships or make social gatherings uncomfortable.

At the same time, the same person explained that this outcome is not guaranteed. They shared that one of their closest friends today is actually a woman they once had romantic feelings for. Although the relationship did not work out, they remained in the same friend group and eventually became even better friends.

The user even revealed that they later became roommates after moving to a new city together. Their story suggests that mature people can handle rejection without destroying friendships, although it requires honesty and respect from both sides.

Another commenter agreed that people should be careful, especially when dating coworkers. A relationship ending badly at work can create professional problems and, in some cases, even affect someone's career. That is why emotional maturity matters just as much as romantic feelings.

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Another interesting response questioned why this advice is considered unusual at all. The user said almost every couple they had ever met first connected through their social circle. They could not remember seeing friendships destroyed because two people tried dating.


A user highlighted a different challenge. They argued that forming an emotional connection first is actually the difficult part for many young men. If building that connection were easy, they said, most people would happily choose that path instead of relying on dating apps.

This response highlighted one of the biggest problems in modern dating. Many young adults simply do not have enough opportunities to spend meaningful time with new people. Busy schedules, remote work and smaller social circles make genuine connections much harder to build.

Bollywood has often shown that love grows slowly rather than instantly. In Wake Up Sid, Sid and Aisha first become close friends before their relationship develops naturally through trust and understanding.

In Rockstar, Jordan spends much of the story searching for deep emotional love rather than a casual relationship. His journey shows that real emotional bonds can completely change a person's life, even when they come with heartbreak.

Another memorable example is Meri Pyaari Bindu. Abhimanyu spends years loving Bindu, beginning with a strong friendship that slowly grows into deeper feelings. The film reminds audiences that meaningful relationships often take patience instead of shortcuts.


Even Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na revolves around two best friends who slowly realise that the strongest relationship was already in front of them. Their story reflects the same idea many young people discussed that friendship can sometimes become the strongest foundation for lasting love.

The discussion is not really about avoiding dating apps completely. Instead, it raises an important question about how relationships begin. Is finding someone quickly more important than truly knowing them?

Many young men believe the answer is no. They argue that emotional understanding, shared experiences and genuine friendship create stronger relationships than random matches or brief conversations with strangers.

Social circles, workplaces and friendships also carry risks. But almost everyone agreed on one thing: healthy relationships need communication, respect and emotional maturity, regardless of where two people first meet.

As dating continues to change for Gen Z, many young adults appear to be looking beyond quick matches. They are searching for something deeper, a relationship built on trust, understanding and friendship that can last long after the first conversation.


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